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In Tunisia gay life has many faces: from secretive post-marital same-sex-not-gay quickies among straight husbands, to ongoing pre-marital youth same-sex-not-gay with friends, to totally gay friendship networks among different age peers, to monogamous boyfriend couples to discrete liaisons from the internet.
It is not easy to label the ‘scene’ here because it is not organized, not open, not admitted, yet it’s cruisy, sexy, internet-connected and quite populous. During my visit I chatted with two very different gay men, one a young student at a local university and the other a retired Italian resident of Tunis now self-employed. Ari, a university student studying architecture, and I met at tea time and had creamy thick hot chocolate at a trendy modern coffee shop and later went for pizza across the street.
He has been a European resident of Tunisia for the past seven years.Seeking a reliable stable relationship with a foreigner is always a risky affair for any native LGBT Tunisian since the expat is very likely to leave after a period of time; most are on professional assignments to Tunisia (from Europe) and must return when they are reassigned or become homesick or lose their job.Even an enduring lover may come and go, for business or personal reasons, with long periods apart when there are temptations to flirt and play which diminishes commitment–another reason why Ari wants to live in Europe with its high density ‘gay cities’ with supportive friendships and communities.“I like opera and symphonies as well as pop; some of my peers think I am crazy but I don’t relate completely to this Tunisian culture. Also I want a husband, a monogamous one”, he said with the urgency of a impatient young gay male in the 21st century who is very aware of the bigger world beyond the shores of the Mediterranean.I like European and American culture.” Being gay further alienates him from the vast majority of Tunisians and the Arab world: “I don’t feel Arab. This culture is too small for me.” He plans to move to west Europe to complete his university studies in architecture, a decision that is fortunately supported by his parents. He has miles and years to go to fulfill his dream and keeping the dream alive will take patience and careful planning.