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One widower expressed that he was too distressed to take on his children's grief as well as his own.
As soon as the funeral was over, he was left alone. Children knew their fathers were crying in private, often at night, thinking no one would notice.Colleagues in the work place were seen as a strong source of support. Four lived with family; 3 of these were families with young children.One moved in with children and became the care receiver. One widower traveled with his children at their invitation. One widower talked of the support he received from a long-time best friend.Although I had some good male friends, I just didn't feel like I could go over and say, "Let's have a piece of cake and a good cry." It is hard to go to someone's house and say "I really need to talk about the death of my wife." You know, guys just don't do that.So, I ended up working out a lot of things on my own.
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One widower noted that men are not "naturally chatty" and do not ask for help easily.