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Simplybadmouthing your ex is likely to hurt your kids more than your husband, even if you don't think they hear or read what you say.

"Anything written online about an ex-spouse will exist forever—when the children are old enough to read," cautions Newman. Being divorced doesn't mean you're a failure, less competent or less desirable.

Rest assured, these 10 lessons can get you through the end of your marriage, both financially and emotionally. It may take a long time to recover—and that's okay.

Julie, 50, from Denver, thought she'd be able to handle her divorce.

Caitlin, 55, from Tarrytown, NY, recommends requesting a one-time payment, separate from alimony.

"If you don't know what you'll need in the future, you won't be able to ask for it and you surely won't get it," she says. For example, your husband may be able to boot you from his health insurance plan, leaving you with an added cost of as much as

"If you don't know what you'll need in the future, you won't be able to ask for it and you surely won't get it," she says. For example, your husband may be able to boot you from his health insurance plan, leaving you with an added cost of as much as $1,000 per month.

to do) if you're going through—or just contemplating—a divorce.

Here, real women share what they wish they'd known when they split from their husbands and divorce professionals weigh in on how to combat the most unexpected, yet most common, mistakes they've seen clients make.

"Therapists who haven't experienced divorce often create false hope," in regards to recovering quickly.

"It's important to have support that's educated as well as therapeutic." 2. "I used a criminal attorney and got a poor settlement," admits Christine K. On the other hand, a lawyer who's well-versed in family law could get you a better settlement because she knows the state-law nuances and local judges and lawyers, says Jacqueline Newman, a partner at a boutique New York City law firm specializing in divorce.

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"If you don't know what you'll need in the future, you won't be able to ask for it and you surely won't get it," she says. For example, your husband may be able to boot you from his health insurance plan, leaving you with an added cost of as much as $1,000 per month.to do) if you're going through—or just contemplating—a divorce.Here, real women share what they wish they'd known when they split from their husbands and divorce professionals weigh in on how to combat the most unexpected, yet most common, mistakes they've seen clients make."Therapists who haven't experienced divorce often create false hope," in regards to recovering quickly."It's important to have support that's educated as well as therapeutic." 2. "I used a criminal attorney and got a poor settlement," admits Christine K. On the other hand, a lawyer who's well-versed in family law could get you a better settlement because she knows the state-law nuances and local judges and lawyers, says Jacqueline Newman, a partner at a boutique New York City law firm specializing in divorce.

,000 per month.to do) if you're going through—or just contemplating—a divorce.Here, real women share what they wish they'd known when they split from their husbands and divorce professionals weigh in on how to combat the most unexpected, yet most common, mistakes they've seen clients make."Therapists who haven't experienced divorce often create false hope," in regards to recovering quickly."It's important to have support that's educated as well as therapeutic." 2. "I used a criminal attorney and got a poor settlement," admits Christine K. On the other hand, a lawyer who's well-versed in family law could get you a better settlement because she knows the state-law nuances and local judges and lawyers, says Jacqueline Newman, a partner at a boutique New York City law firm specializing in divorce.

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