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We conducted participant driven research, and by this I mean that we let the women decide if they wanted to bring in their male partners. Other women didn't want their partners involved in the study.They viewed the study as an independent [and therapeutic] space.We wanted to look at various stereotypes: that all bisexual men have HIV, they're all sleeping around, [and] they're actually really gay. The women were culturally diverse, coming from different parts of Australia. One thing we wanted to do was differentiate between women who had been in a relationship with a gay identifying man, which there has been a lot of research on, and a bisexual identifying man.
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MPC: First, I want to say that so many women stated that their bisexual partners made better husbands, fathers, and lovers, but there were [also] some women who were experiencing incredible violence and issues of misogyny. And if they went to a gay men's health center for support, they'd be told to leave him alone and let him be gay. We have certain images of you, and we're not going to go beyond that to give you the help you actually need. Where do you go if you want to have a talk about STIs or a chat about managing the workplace dating a bisexual man, but suddenly, the conversation becomes about problematizing and pathologizing your relationship and partner?
One example was of a man who basically married his female partner to cover his same-sex attractions. If they went to a women's refuge and said, My partner is abusing me and he's bisexual, the women at the shelter would say, Why are you with him? Or the gay men would then support the male partner, saying that he has the right to do whatever he wants, and he shouldn't worry about his female partner. The women are like, I'm just coming here for some advice on how to have a polyamorous relationship.
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